I should have been a pro golfer

Tonight I went over to see my parents, hoping for some parental sympathy for my never ending cough (and also, I like my parents and wanted to see them). When I got there they were watching a women's golf tournament on television. I made my usual comment about how boring golf is on tv, but they didn't pick up the hint and change the station (not that I really thought they would, but it never hurts to try). Our conversation went a little like this:

Mom: how are you feeling

Me: really sick. I'm probably going to die.

Mom: Oh! Did you see that Dale? That was so close! (referring to the putt just made on the television).

Dad: No it wasn't.

Mom: Yes it was.

Dad: No it wasn't. If it was close it would have skimmed the cup.

Me: Do you think I should go to the doctor again? I'm thinking of going to an allergist.

Mom: (watching the golf tourney). You need to take more vitamin C. Are you drinking lots of water?

Me: But I think it might be more than just allergies because it's not really getting better and I throw up a lot.

Mom: (watches golf tourney and ignores me)

Me: I'm really sick

still no response. after a few minutes a commercial break comes....finally! some attention on me!

Mom: You need to go to walgreens and get some cough suppressant. it's just allergies.

Me: (reverting back into my role as the baby of the family needing all the attention) Well I think you like Lorena (the golfer currently leading the tournament) better than you like me.

Mom: Oh, I love Lorena. She is my most favorite!

Me: i should have been a pro golfer. Then you would love me more.

Mom: Kelly, if I remember correctly, you were never into athletics. When I was young I used to play tennis, volleyball, etc, etc.

Dad: She used to ice skate (thanks for remembering my one athletic attempt dad!)

The golf tourney comes back on, so the conversation stalls again (well, I keep talking, but no one is acknowledging me). When the next commercial break comes, I assume we can resume talking about my illness, but instead we talk about the cat and the routine I need to go through when I come over to feed her every day next week while my parents go to Branson. I even had a near throwing up episode once and thought for sure that garner some major concern, but it didn't. I think my parents can see through my hypochondriac tendancies and don't fall for my drama any more. It really takes the fun out of being sick, but fortunately, some of my friends still buy into it and give me lots of sympathy.

Which reminds me, I've had several friends comment that they understand me because I remind them a lot of their husbands when they are sick. I'm pretty sure this is not a compliment, but instead is referring to the fact that husbands (and apparently me) tend to be wimpy when sick and want lots of attention. Maybe that could be a business, someone could start a 24 hour helpline where needy people (me and the husbands) could call in anytime and get lots of sympathy over the phone...